Wednesday, August 24, 2011

That makes no SCENTS! ( I kill myself!)

So today after my run I was understandably sweaty so I got in the shower. To my dismay the manly scented shampoo was gone ( I always use the manly scented stuff because I am so manly). I begrudgingly looked at my other choices and saw one that said "Ocean Breeze". This confused me. Anyone who has ever been around the ocean knows the scent of an ocean breeze is not particularly one that should be bottled up and rubbed in your hair. So I opened it up and took a smell, and let me tell you, they were WAY off. It was sweet and clean and nice, basically the opposite of the salty, wet, fishy sea. It was more appealing than an actual breeze from the sea, which is why I wondered why they bothered to call it "Ocean Breeze". How did we start doing that? "People like ocean breezes right? Why don't we call this 'Ocean Breeze'?" "But sir, I thought people bought soap so that they wouldn't smell like salty water..." "You're fired."

On an unrelated note, be on the lookout for my new cologne, "Bacon Grease."

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

This One's For Kyle.

It seems that I complain a lot about things that I don't understand. Why can't I wear shorts on BYU-Idaho's campus? Why does the economy suck so bad? Why do I have to shave so often (One uppers, I know that you shave more often than me.)? I thought to myself, maybe I complain too much. Maybe I should try something different. Then I thought, Nah. So tonight is more of the same.

You know what I never understood? Why they call left-handed people "south paws". Now I understand that the use of paw is there to mean hand. That's cute and whatever, but why the south? Right now as I sit , my right hand is on the south side of my body. I don't know if the coiner of that phrase was aware, but human beings can turn in different directions. Maybe he meant south as in down, but my hands are both about the same distance from the floor, and so my left hand could not really be considered my predominantly south hand. Maybe there is some sort of reference I don't understand. I would really like to know the story.