Guardening- The War Against Mother Nature.

Today as I pulled weeds at my job at work, I did a lot of thinking about gardening. Flower gardening to be precise. Really, flower gardening is just saying, "Woah, Mother Nature, what is going on here? These plants don't work together at all! And obviously you have yet to grasp the concept of spacing. You know what, Mother Nature? I'll take it from here. Thanks. No really." Then not only do we tear up the plants that were naturally there, we slander them with the moniker weeds.

Apparently Mother Nature hasn't taken this too well, and so she does everything she can to sabotage our flower gardening efforts. Have you ever tried to grow flowers from seeds? It's like trying to care for a patient that is constantly in critical condition. Everything has to be exactly right, or the flower will die. Don't water them enough? Dead. Water them to much? Dead. Too much sun? Dead. Too little sun? Dead. Look at them the wrong way? Dead. What divas!

If by some miracle you manage to grow a plant big enough, you then have to transfer it to the garden. I think there is a higher rate of success doing heart transplants than plant transplants. And once they are in your garden you have to care for them constantly.

And not only has Mother Nature turned your plants quite literally into pansies, but she has turned her weeds into some sort of superplant that is invulnerable to most attacks. You can pull them all the day long, and if you leave even the tiniest fragment of root in the ground, expect that plant to be back in full force within the week. They pop up by the hundreds overnight, intent on giving you early-onset arthritis and back trouble. But hey, at least your yard is pretty.