This is you guys
So I have been watching X-men: The Animated Series on Netflix lately, because I use my time wisely. If you are surprised by this, hello! My name is Zak. We obviously have not met. As I watch X-men and other shows and movies like it, I am always really impressed that the heroes and villains have the presence of mind to have all this witty banter while people are trying to kill them and things are exploding all around them.
*Hero gets shot at as he or she runs around. Shoots a man in the face*
Hero: He really bit the bullet on that one.
Villain: I have a surprise for you.
H: Will I like it?
V: It's to die for!
*Explosion right behind hero*
H: I PREFER THIS RINGING IN MY EARS TO HEARING YOUR VOICE, LOSER!
V: No need to shout. My you have an explosive temper!
H: ARE YOU STILL TALKING!? YOU'RE MAKING MY EARS BLEED! BUT SERIOUSLY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU, MY EARDRUMS ARE RUPTURED.
Sometimes I imagine myself in situations like that.
Yes. Sometimes...
I like to believe that in a similar situation I would be that smooth and composed, throwing out one liners as quickly as I was throwing out bullets and grenades. But who am I kidding? It would definitely not work like that. It would probably be more like this:
*I get shot at as I run around. Shoot a man in the face*
Me: Holy Crap! I just shot a guy! I need therapy!
Villain:I have a surprise for you!
M: I don't want it!
V: Um... Well I already put a deposit on it, so you are getting it anyway!
*Explosion right behind me*
M: AHHHHH MY EARS! I CAN'T HEAR! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!
V:Don't explode at me!
M: MY EARS ARE BLEEDING! HOLY CRAP I'M DEAF! OH MAN THIS IS BAD!
V: I can't play off of this. How am I supposed to be witty when you are freaking out like this?
M: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Even if I succeeded and saved the day, I wouldn't be cool. I would be freaking out and be in therapy for PTSD for the rest of my life. Oh well.
Oh my word! I was literally dying of laughter while reading this post! You are hilarious.
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