April Fool

I don’t know what happened today, but everyone on my facebook was either engaged or pregnant. My friend got laid off from his job… It seems all these life changing events were all happening on the same day. I wonder what it is about the beginning of April that makes people make such rash decisions. I guess it will have to remain a mystery.

APRIL FOOLS! Anyway, I am so happy that April is here. April is my favorite month. Possibly because my birthday falls in it. I don’t know. But I love it so. To bad it has to start with such deceit.

Well, I am having a hard time thinking of things to write, so I will post a random rant. A while ago I saw this movie. It was amazing the things I had heard about this movie. Supposedly it was so good it would change my life, or something. I watched it, eager to partake in it’s quality, and was thoroughly disappointed. Not only was it not life changing, I thought it was one of the stupidest movies I had ever seen. Yes, I am talking about Scott Pilgrim.

Now I realize that this may lose me some followers, but holy cow was this movie dumb. I asked all my friends why they thought it was so great and all they could say was, “You didn’t get the references? There were like crazy tons of video game references.” I did get the references. I was not impressed. The REAL video game references were few, and the butt-ton of generic references weren’t that clever. At first I thought I was just stupid and was missing all the references, but then I remembered that I was a HUGE nerd, and there is no way that my friends got references I didn’t. Here is the thing, references are fun, but you can’t make a movie that is totally crappy references. The plot was retarded and made no sense, and the characters were all enormous tools.

If someone would please explain to me why this movie was worth my time, I would appreciate it. I really want to know what it is I am missing that everyone around me apparently is seeing that is so great. I need enlightenment. Please enlighten me.

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I've eaten ice cream and apple pie...

Welcome to another edition of Wilford Wednesday. Try to contain your excitement. First off the weird photoshop:

Brimley fact: Wilford Brimley was born as Allen Wilford Brimley.

My grandparents once sat in front of Wilford on a plane, and said that he was surprisingly pleasant and cheerful, but don’t mess with him or he will slam a basketball into your face like he did to those ruffian teenagers in Cocoon 2. I may have added the part about Cocoon 2.

A side note, if you haven’t seen either Cocoons, I would recommend them. they are excellent.

Hakuna Matata

So, I am sitting here listening to Disney Music. It is crazy how much I love this stuff. I mean really. I don’t know if it is healthy for a grown man to enjoy these songs so much, and you know what? I don’t care! I really can’t think of anything that brings about such intense nostalgic feelings. It may be even less healthy that I know just about all the words to EVERY SONG. I kinda feel like it would be worth it to have kids just to have an excuse for there to be Disney songs playing constantly in my car. (obviously I will not have kids just to have an excuse to play Disney.(Is that obvious? I just realized that I might seem that crazy to people. (I’m not that crazy.)))

So I have a question. You know those frosted mini wheats? Delicious right? That wasn’t the question. The question is why on earth can they not figure out how to evenly cover EVERY piece with frosting? I mean I probably wouldn’t be so bothered by this if less than 50% of them were not completely frosting-less. But when I eat them it seems that every other one is completely bland, and that is a serious problem to me. I mean, we can put a man on the moon, but we can’t correctly frost cereal? C’mon folks.

In conclusion, I am an enormous child.

Hmmmmm

I’m gonna try for a stream of consciousness thing here, so bear with me. Today was Saturday, the day after Friday. I didn’t even know that until a week and a half ago. Thanks Rebbecca Black! Now I know you have all seen that video so I won’t go into detail, but I really wanna know who wrote that song. I mean “We so excited”? Really? Do you have that little respect for the English Language? Listening to popular music distresses me. I mean, there are some that are catchy and that I enjoy, but mostly… Like for example today I listened to the Ludacris part of that Justin Bieber song for the first time. It was almost painful. “She woke me every mornin’ didn’t need no starbucks!” Well that’s good 13 year old Ludacris, because you shouldn’t need starbucks anyway, you are 13 years old. Anyway, that was bad. I kinda hope that he wrote it when he was 13 for his sake.

My sister and I wrote a retarded Harry Potter fanfiction when I was 13. I may link it here sometime for fun. Then we started another one, and I liked the way that it was going, but it never got finished. I am afraid that it will never be completed, because I am too mature to finish it the way it needs to be finished.

I am pretty stoked for the new Harry Potter that is soon to be released. I think this last one was the best so far. I only have one issue, and that is the story of the three deathly hallows. Number one, that is a ridiculous story. Death got ticked at them for building a bridge? Really? There are a lot of bridges. I have never heard of construction crews getting presents from death. That wasn’t even a legit river. If someone was to drown in there I doubt a bridge will stop them. Anyway, I appreciate the effort, but the story seemed super forced. Another thing, why is Voldemort, a grown man/snake, chasing kids stories? I mean, if that is a true story, then why the heck isn’t the entire wizarding world all over that? Why is this the absolute first time we hear about it? You think that would be an important detail. I feel like it is the equivalent of Hitler basing his entire military strategy on finding the fountain of youth. Oh, hey, that actually sounds like an Indiana Jones movie.

So how about that new Indiana Jones eh? Terrible. It made me weep bitter tears. I am tired of this whole “Let’s see how badly we can mess with the childhood of every kid that grew up in the 80’s/90’s” thing that Hollywood has going on. I mean the new TMNT is SO BAD. Nothing like it should be.

I could write an entire post on how much I hate CGI, and just might at a later time. But I think that the world has had enough of me for now. PEACE!

He's got 75 Golden Camels

I was wondering last night as I watched Aladdin why Aladdin felt compelled to lie to the princess. A big part of the movie revolves around him not actually being a prince. If this is the case, then the genie kinda sucks, right? I mean Aladdin did not wish to look like a prince, he wished to be a prince. He wished it, it should be legit right? I mean when Jafar wished to be sultan he was sultan. He wasn’t just dressed in fancy clothes. And then the princess finds out that he is in fact Aladdin after their magical carpet ride across the whole of the Asian continent and parts of Africa as well. He straight up tells her, and yet she is surprised when Jafar reveals it again at the end. And then there is all this drama about freeing the genie, because somehow Jafar undid the prince thing? So he was a prince before then? Anyway, Aladdin is torn, because he has to choose between freeing the genie or being able to marry the princess. But wait, the princess is right there. Why can’t he wish to be a prince, the princess gets 2 quick wishes and then she sets him free? Does he have a 6 wish per 10,000 year cap? Because it just seemed to me that whoever had the lamp was in control. And the very last thing (I promise) is after the genie is set free, it appears that he still has all his powers. Aladdin just did him a solid, perhaps the most significant one of his existence. He is now FREE. Free to do whatever he wants with his “phenomenal cosmic power” and he can’t help his buddy out? Or were his powers limited to doing random impressions of people and flight?

So long story short, I realized yesterday that I have become way too critical of my movies.

Oh, Hey There Blog...

I regret that I have neglected this for almost exactly a year, but It makes no difference because I had no followers yet. Hopefully those will come soon but if not, I won't be too sad.

Can I just take a minute of your time to explain something near and dear to me? Of course I can, this is my Blog. It is the Sunday afternoon nap. It is one of my favorite parts of the week because after I get home from Church, I am usually exhausted. Any other day of the week, I feel bad taking a nap, because I know that there is homework to be done or things I could do, but not on Sunday. It is the day of rest, a day practically set apart for naps. I can sleep basically as long as I want and I always wake up feeling great. It is a feeling that cannot be paralleled. I would recommend these naps to anyone. Clear your schedule on Sunday. Cast off all your cares and take a nap.

So I have recently discovered that I have a Facebook problem, which is bizarre considering I rarely do anything on it anymore. For some reason it is always open in a tab on my computer. I will get on to do my homework and before I even register what is going on, Facebook is up. It scares me a little bit. There I am minding my own business when all of the sudden it's like, "Woah! How did you get there FB? I don't remember opening you... Go away! I SAID GO AWAY!" There have been times where I have closed the Facebook tab opened a new one and went straight back to Facebook. It's so dumb. I really need to work on that.