That's Cold

It is that time of the year again, when the temperature outside takes a nosedive and everything starts to die. As the temperature drops, inevitably someone (me) will complain about the cold, and just as inevitably someone will say "I would rather be cold than hot." I cannot comprehend this way of thinking. These people, without fail, only have one reason why this is the case. "You can always put more clothes on, but you can only take so much off." I am a big fan of heat. I would much rather be hot than cold. You may say "That's because you went to the Caribbean on your mission and are acclimatized." To that I say "Umm hello, individual? I have been home for 2 years and spent both winters in the frigid and barren tundra known as Rexburg, Idaho." I have way more reasons that warm weather is way better than cold. I will narrow it down to 10 though. Now I realize that in both extremes, the end result of prolonged exposure is death. I do not wish to enter into that.

1. My first reason is to prove the above reason flawed and basically the stupidest thing ever. First of all, putting on all those layers of clothes is hard work, and takes a ridiculous amount of time. Then, once you arrive where you need to be, you once again have to invest an enormous amount of energy and time taking it off. I also have never found a way to keep my hands and face warm. It is usually the case that while my torso is EXTREMELY warm, my hands and face feel like they are about to drop off my body at any minute. Also there is the problem with the perpetual hat hair I have in the winter. When it is hot you put on shorts and a t shirt and you are ready to go. You can also swim or have a water balloon fight which is way fun and also relieving.

2. I have never once gone outside, no matter how hot and humid it was, and immediately thought that my life might be in danger. My body did not start to convulse on it own. I have never felt the need to sprint to my car to escape the heat. This is the case EVERY TIME it is cold.

3. So I sprint to the car to huddle for warmth, only to realize I am going to have to spend the better part of 15 minutes scraping of the thick layer of ICE that has adhered to my windshield, mirrors, and windows.

4. When it is hot, stepping into an air conditioned structure brings nearly immediate relief. When you go out into the cold, and you come back into your warm house, It doesn’t matter. You will still be freezing cold for another 10 minutes at least. YOU HAVE TO THAW. If your extremities are cold (which they ALWAYS will be) You will never get them warm.

5. It has to be INCREDIBLY hot for heat to be hazardous to driving conditions

6. When you are hot getting wet is beneficial. When you are cold getting wet is potentially deadly. It seems to happen more too.

7. FROSTBITE? Way worse than a sunburn. Potential limb loss.

8. Heat is uncomfortable, Cold is painful.

9. Your car will get stolen while you are heating it up.

10. EVERYTHING IS DEAD IN THE WINTER.

Now, I don't want to be a complete humbug. I do love playing in the snow. But playing in the snow gets old pretty quickly. After a while all the snow turns into chunks of ice and brown slush. I guess you could also argue that because cold weather is so incredibly miserable, drinking hot chocolate in front of a fireplace is one of the best feelings ever. I won't argue with that, but in my experience, all of the nice things about winter happen in the first month or two. By February, no one is sledding. No one is out building snowmen. They are at home wishing and praying that it will all go away. The cold is lame.

One of these guys is that friend who is fun almost all of the time and the other is that guy you hang out with once or twice who seems fun but turns out to be kind of a jerk.