Whoever put a "b" in subtle was a mastermind.

Hey peeps! I haven't posted since the first of the year and that is terrible. For me anyway, I don't even think anyone really reads this anymore. If they do, Hey! what's up. So why did I decide after months of silence, to blow the dust of the old bloggeroo and write something up? Because something annoys me on the internet and gosh dang it, something needs to be said! Ok, maybe not, but it's getting said anyway.

I was doing my homework, so naturally I was browsing my Facebook, and these pictures kept coming up. You know the ones. The ones with the black frames and white captions. These used to be called Motivational Posters, then Demotivational posters. Now there is no term for them because there is nothing remotely motivational or demotivational about them . Most of the time it's a weird picture with a funny caption, but recently I noticed a trend in these image macros. A trend that infuriates me. Wait, why did everyone already stop reading?

Let me illustrate with a couple examples:

What are these? Do the "creators" of these images really think we are to stupid to get the concept of the picture? Obviously that teddy bear is defending the child. That is what is happening in the picture. I can see that, you can see that, and everyone else on this planet can see that. It is a pretty cool picture. The funny thing is it exists out of the "black frame and caption" context.

Who looked at this and thought, "What in the heck is happening here? I'm totally lost. I wish someone would explain this to me." I'll tell you who. NOBODY. But then somebody actually took the time to take this artist's drawing, slap a black frame on it and proceed to dumb down the meaning of the picture into one sentence, and "explain" it to us. Also monsters-under-the-bed? Why is that even hyphenated?

Lets look at the other one. Obviously the original image is intended to be a joke. 

Looking at this picture, one might think something similar to, "Well, of course he found Waldo. He's Batman. Nobody can hide from Batman." Because HEY LOOK THAT IS THE ONLY THING THIS PICTURE IS ABOUT. Someone took some precious time out of their day to put the black frame around this picture and once again "explain" to us what no one with a cursory knowledge of pop culture could ever miss! 

Subtlety is dead on the internet. I mourn its passing. 

Filler

Well, I drove a lot today and now I'm tired. Remind me tomorrow to write about rest stops and road trips.

I am really sorry that this post is so lame.

On the morrow I embark on a journey. A journey that will take me across many strange and unknown lands,  lands such as Wyoming and western Missouri. Why must I go you ask? For I seek the greatest treasure in the land, the treasure of knowledge. Do not try to dissuade me from my path, for it is one I must take if I am to obtain that most precious of fancy papers, a college degree. 

I seriously am having way to much fun here in Illinois. My friends are hilarious. My family is not only hilarious, but they are also probably the most excellent family I have ever seen. Rexburg, you better be cookin' up something pretty ridikulus for when I get there. I thrive on fun. You must provide it to me. 

Thought of the night: Teach a man to fish and you'll feed him for a lifetime, but you might also wanna get him some recipes too because I feel like eating the same fish day in and day out would just get really old, you know? 

Half n' Half

Woah, I am blogging again. This is weird. Some might even say that it is too much. Well, forget you some! I am gonna do what I want. 

I'm gonna tell you something. I am having a hard time coming up with something to write. Those of you who know me may be thinking "I have never known Zak to run out of things to say. Seriously though, He never shuts up." Those of you who don't know me are wondering how your Google search brought you here of all places on the internet. Either way I apologize. Living this far away from where I go to school is stressful. I don't know why I do it. Having half my friends and family on one side of the country and half on the other frankly kinda sucks. Every 6 months or so I have to say goodbye to all these people, find a new job, and worst of all PACK. It really is terrible. I guess what I am trying to say is that we should all move to a more centralized location. MOVE FOR ME. Thanks. 

Strategy

 I kinda wanna see how often I can write on my blog this year. That might mean that I'll need to add some structure as to what I post, so loyal fan base, stay tuned for that.

I'll leave you tonight with a small thought. I think that if I had to pick one object to describe our culture today, it would be a strategy guide. As a nation in the past decade or so we have all become obsessed with video games. We also are apparently too lazy to figure any of that junk out by ourselves. It's pretty generous to call it a "strategy guide" too. Strategy implies that some thinking is required. There really is only one strategy these things guide you to: Cheat. The next time you get caught cheating try telling your teacher "No, this isn't a cheat sheet, it is my test strategy guide!" Here's a scenario I could see happening: "Mr President, what is your strategy for dealing with China?" "Where is my strategy guide." "Right here sir" "What is this? Where is the detailed, step-by-step instructions on what to do? All that I see in this book are tips and suggestions and information about Chinese culture! Worthless!"

Happy New Year!

An Ode to A Bygone Apocalypse

 Well, 2012 is drawing to a close, and neither Facebook nor Twitter seemed to allow me an appropriate amount of space to express everything I want to about this year, so I have blown some of the dust off of my poor blog and started to type, (which, being the sharp bunch you are, have probably already noticed.)

 We have all had good times this year. We have also had some pretty lame times. But as we all gather together to send off the big 2-0-1-2 there is one thing that we can all say: SUCK IT MAYANS! HAHAHA! Seriously though, it is nice that we didn't all die. That would have put a real damper on the New Year festivities.

As far as years go, for me anyway, 2012 was not the worst. I have had some real fun and met some awesome people. I would like to wish all of those who made this year as awesome as it was my sincere gratitude.Thanks guys, you really are awesome. I would like to especially thank the small percentage of those people who are taking the time to read this. You really are a rare breed.

If next year is full of as many great people as this one was, it is gonna be a really good one. Undoubtedly, this year will not all be one big party, but I don't have to accept that yet. Until the time comes where I am forced to accept that the year will have to be made up of many, many little parties, I wish you the happiest 2013 the universe can offer and I will catch you all on the flip side (and yes, I am aware that it is gonna be 2013, not 1991. I can use whatever phrases I want, thank  you.)

Super!

I have a problem, dear readers. I know what you are thinking, but before you unleash your chorus of "Well DUH." Hear me out. This is a problem I've had for a while. When people compliment me on my amazing good looks, I don't know whether I should say "Thank you" or "You're welcome"! You see what I'm saying?

Ok, I'm sorry. That was mean. What's that though? How have I been? That is what you are thinking right? It is either that or "This guy should really stop trying to read our minds, he sucks at it." I'm gonna assume the former, because we are, like best friends! I have been well. Just living the dream. The dream where I'm going to school and whatnot. Thankfully not the one where I go to school in just my underwear, though. I kinda wish I was living the dream where I was able to run super fast, but unfortunately that is not the one. 

It's a good dream

I do have to apologize for my absence, I know you have missed me. Ok, now I'm sure you're thinking that I suck at mind reading, and frankly it isn't appreciated. Anyway, I am sorry. I feel like I say that every blog post. I need to stop that.

So yesterday was international post "May the 4th be with you!" on your Facebook wall day. That was fun wasn't it? A fun day to watch the Avengers! To be fair Sam Jackson was in it. How awesome would it have been if, along with the eyepatch, Nick fury had two hook hands? Then we could argue over whether or not he was Mace Windu in disguise. 

Who is he really?

I know you are thinking that this is the nerdiest thing you have ever heard, but I can assure you that that is not the nerdiest thing I have ever said. Not even close. 

It isn't even the nerdiest thing I have shoddily conceptualized on Photoshop.

I am way stoked for this summer though. Why? In 3 words: DARK KNIGHT RISES. In several words: That movie is going to be the cinematic experience of a lifetime and I am losing my mind watching the trailers.  And in other news my first nephew is due around the same time. How awesome would it be if he was born on Batman day!? Steph, make it happen. For me. 

PSA

I made this for you:

The BAYne of my existence.

I know you've all been waiting with bated breath to get my opinion on, what I think, is one of the greatest atrocities I've ever heard of in my life.

This. This is the thing.

Well, I spent a good long time writing a letter to Michael Bay, and here's a draft:

Dear Mr. Bay,

Contrary to popular opinion I don't hate all the movies you've done. I am, in fact, a big fan of explosions. However, I am afraid that you seem to be a bit confused. You've recently stated your plans to reboot the TMNT, which, I must admit, is a subject near and dear to my heart.

Forever.

Now, I don't mean to embarrass you, but you have apparently not done enough research in the writing of your movie. Actually, you must not have done any research at all. If you had, you would have discovered that TMNT is actually short for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and not, as you believe, Teenage Alien Ninja Aliens, AND IF YOU MAKE IT THAT WAY I WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND I WILL CUT YOU! SO HELP ME, I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL!... excuse me I lost my composure for a minute. Mr. Bay, I don't know what my inner child ever did to offend you, but I deeply and sincerely apologize. Please leave my childhood alone. Please. If you do this I WILL BURY YOU ALIVE IN A COFFIN FILLED WITH THE BITTER TEARS OF ALL THE CHILDREN YOU HAVE SO CARELESSLY HURT. I urge you to reconsider.

Professionally yours,

Zak Ison

Super Zero

Howdy readership. Have I told you lately that I love you? Because I do. If you read my blog, I love you. Not just because you read my blog though. It's deeper than that. Knock Knock, who's there? You. You are there. You are beautiful people.

This is you guys

So I have been watching X-men: The Animated Series on Netflix lately, because I use my time wisely. If you are surprised by this, hello! My name is Zak. We obviously have not met. As I watch X-men and other shows and movies like it, I am always really impressed that the heroes and villains have the presence of mind to have all this witty banter while people are trying to kill them and things are exploding all around them.

*Hero gets shot at as he or she runs around. Shoots a man in the face*

Hero: He really bit the bullet on that one.

Villain: I have a surprise for you.

H: Will I like it?

V: It's to die for!

*Explosion right behind hero*

H: I PREFER THIS RINGING IN MY EARS TO HEARING YOUR VOICE, LOSER!

V: No need to shout. My you have an explosive temper!

H: ARE YOU STILL TALKING!? YOU'RE MAKING MY EARS BLEED! BUT SERIOUSLY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU, MY EARDRUMS ARE RUPTURED.

Sometimes I imagine myself in situations like that.

Yes. Sometimes...

I like to believe that in a similar situation I would be that smooth and composed, throwing out one liners as quickly as I was throwing out bullets and grenades. But who am I kidding? It would definitely not work like that. It would probably be more like this:

*I get shot at as I run around. Shoot a man in the face*

Me: Holy Crap! I just shot a guy! I need therapy!

Villain:I have a surprise for you!

M: I don't want it!

V: Um... Well I already put a deposit on it, so you are getting it anyway!

*Explosion right behind me*

M: AHHHHH MY EARS! I CAN'T HEAR! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!

V:Don't explode at me!

M: MY EARS ARE BLEEDING! HOLY CRAP I'M DEAF! OH MAN THIS IS BAD!

V: I can't play off of this. How am I supposed to be witty when you are freaking out like this?

M: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Even if I succeeded and saved the day, I wouldn't be cool. I would be freaking out and be in therapy for PTSD for the rest of my life. Oh well.

Fortunate Son

Today is awesome. Number one, it is my parents anniversary. The celebration of the formation of our family. It also happens to be Pi day. A day to celebrate pi, sure, but also a day to celebrate PIE. I love pie. It is my favorite dessert. My Mom also happens to make the best pies. Is this a coincidence? Yes. Yes it is. But it is a hilarious and awesome coincidence. This day needs TRADITIONS!

You know what I want to try my hand at? Writing fortune cookies. How much fun could you have with that? Here are a few of my ideas:

Mary, I know what you did. You can't hide it from me.

(This might not make a lot of sense to a lot of people, but can you imagine if a woman named Mary got that cookie?)

Today is a good day to run away and join the circus, but if that's not your thing then I would, I dunno, be nice to others so they will be nice to you. There you go.

Commit to that goal you've been meaning to make. You'll die if you don't.

Today, you are the most awesome person in the world. Way to go!

Leave a good tip. These people work hard to give you good Chinese.

Some people are born with greatness. Others have greatness thrust upon them. Others get advice from cookies.

Do you have any sweet ideas?

Child's Play

I would like to wish my entire readership a happy International Woman's Day (I am under the impression that pretty much all of my readers are attractive single women). I must confess that I wasn't aware today was Woman's Day until late last night. It confused me. Why did we still have school? I mean, we didn't have school on President's Day. I mean, presidents are great, but a day celebrating over 50% of the planet? And we have to go to school? That, to me, is bush league. Grade A baloney. Women are awesome, and I didn't feel I had time today to celebrate them correctly today.

I thought today, for all the ladies out there, I would talk about my childhood. I was a pretty adorable child.

Eh? Eh?

Anyway, when I was a kid I thought the reason Sunday was called Sunday was because it NEVER rained that day. I seriously thought that the Sun had to come out every Sunday. It took forever too, for it to finally rain on a Sunday. I was so mad. I was mad at the universe. It lied to me.

I also used to take that "don't step on a sidewalk crack" thing really seriously. Who was the sick individual who came up with that rhyme? I mean threatening my family? and for what? so that little children could walk around like idiots? Don't step on a sidewalk crack or your mom'll fall and break her back. And it would've been all my fault. Imagine if it would have happened on Woman's day! Sick.

Sheeple

Oh hey, look. I finally updated my layout. Sorry it's blurry-ish. At least it's AWESOME. In case you weren't aware, this was the winner of the Layout contest thing on my blog's Facebook Page, which you can still like, if you like my blog and haven't liked it already.

I have a lot of homework this weekend. So much that instead of doing it I am working on my blog. I do it because I have excellent priorities. I actually had a lot more homework, but I did have a spurt of responsibility and got a ton of it done (So don't be too worried, Mom and Dad). But now I am going to offer you more of my opinions and thoughts.

Valentine's day is coming up. People have a lot of opinions on Valentine's day. In three days expect a flood of "VALENTINE'S DAY IS SO DUMB I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND AND I STILL THINK THAT IT'S STUPID BECAUSE I AM JUST SO SMART." kinds of posts. I hate to tell you this, but these people are better than you. They are so much smarter and better, in fact, that they can no longer have any fun. They are too smart to fall for that kind of child's play. Why would you just have one day set aside to show love to the special people in your life? You can do that every day! You are stupid for giving into the hype created by the evil arts and crafts tycoons. They are sitting up there on their throne of lies laughing at you for being gullible enough to fall for their "VALENTINE'S DAY" scam. It's a good thing that these people are here for you. They can save you from your ignorance.

This kind of person can also save you from liking a movie the common, uneducated masses think is awesome, because they know better. You enjoyed the new Sherlock Holmes? Have you even read the books? That movie sucked. Why? They would try to explain, but you are too dumb to understand.They can already tell that the Avengers is going to be lame. Why? They just can. They have a pretentious sixth sense.

I am dumb. I don't see a problem with Valentine's day. I don't think that the war on Christmas is a thing. I like bad movies. I like to, heaven forbid, have fun sometimes. Ignorance is bliss. People can be better than me if they want. I'm probably to stupid to even notice they are scoffing at me. "Look at that idiot over there being happy," They'll say "I am so much better than him because I shun happy things. I know better." And good for them. I will never achieve that level of awesomeness. I guess I'll just wallow down here in my fun and joy.

About Time

It has been a whole month since I last posted a blog. How terrible is that? I still have my Christmas layout up. I am that guy who doesn’t take down his Christmas Decorations until months after Christmas, but online. I apologize. I could give you all these excuses about how busy I am and how much work school gives me, but….I just did, actually. Anyway, I will try to do better.

You know what freaks me out? Time travel. I can’t think about it for too long, or my brain starts melting out of my ears. As you may know I have a very critical and inquisitive mind, and nothing about time travel ever makes sense to me. Every little change can change EVERYTHING in the future. Every little shift. There are countless tiny little events that HAVE TO HAD OCCURRED for you to even exist, and if one, even one of those things is altered, boom. You’re gone. And no one notices. Nobody notices anything is off, but everything has changed. If time travel EVER exists EVER, then we cannot be sure of anything. Our lives could constantly be shifting. All of the experiences I remember and all the things I’ve done could change if someone goes back and trips over the wrong thing or stands in the wrong place. Each small action has a nearly infinite amount of implications.

One good thing is, though, that time travel provides an excellent excuse for anything. “I had a job, Mom. I was a doctor yesterday, probably. It’s those darn time travelers, always screwing with things.”

“Why are you late to class?”

“Time travelers.”

“What?”

“Well, I was gonna be on time for class, but some time traveler dropped a napkin, so some guy bent over to pick it up, blocking another pedestrian who then had to slow down for a moment, causing her to cross the street in front of me at the moment that I was at that crosswalk which led to me hit a red light which stopped me from catching my roommate as he was leaving, and that prevented me from learning that he had spilled water on the toaster and shorted out the electricity in our apartment, so I was unaware that my computer was running on battery so when it ran out and shut down, I lost all the work I did on our assignment and had to go to the library and finish it there, and because I was there at that time I ran into an ex-girlfriend who talked my ear off. Most likely.”

In fact, I probably wrote all kinds of sweet blog posts in January, but then – time travel. I will be better about writing in the future, unless time travelers screw that up too.

That Was An Overreaction

Hello readers! Welcome to my first blog post of 2012, the year of doom. I probably don't have to explain to you what I mean, since you have all been alive for the past several years, but I am going to anyway, because I can. The Mayan Calender ends on December 21st 2012 and so OBVIOUSLY that is the date the world is going to end. This is something I don't understand. I have a Batman calender still hanging on my wall at home that ended December 31st 2010, and the world is still here. I fail to see the correlation. I think the problem is that people in our day have a tendency to blow things way out of proportion. I blame the media.

And Chocolate

Seriously though, think back. How many times in recent memory were we all going to die? Swine flu? Bird flu? West Nile? Global warming is gonna kill us too. A while back I guess that it was a second ice age. Way back people were all afraid that the saber-tooth tiger population was going to rise up and kill everybody. The reason I blame the media is because it is totally their fault. They need to keep people watching, and people are only entertained for so long by videos of water skiing squirrels. When there is a "Global crisis" people are watching the News 24/7. They want all the facts all the time. Only when there is immediate danger will people respond and that is what the media needs to get ratings.

What is wrong with this country? This is adorable.

But really, it isn't just big things we overreact on. Take a brief click on over to Facebook or any comments section of any webpage. Every time you see someone use all caps or more than one exclamation point take a gulp of water. If they do both take two. I can almost guarantee you will die of water poisoning within the hour.

It is even evident in the way we speak. The word "awesome" used to mean something truly incredible. Things like seeing the Earth from outer space, or the killing power of the great white shark. You know, things that inspire awe. With that in mind, this is an actual conversation that I had recently.

Me: Hey, what's up?

Friend: Nothing, just watching Spongebob.

Me: Awesome!

Magnificent. There are no words.

All this overreacting, I feel, is bad for society. If it doesn't stop WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE.

Peace out 2011!

2012 is rapidly approaching and I feel like I should throw out one more blog post before it gets here.

Every New Years I make resolutions about things I'd like to accomplish during the year, but then after about a week and a half I am less than resolute in keeping them. I can't even remember the ones I made last year, so I can't really measure whether or not I was even successful. This year I have one resolution: Be awesome. This resolution applies to all aspects of my life. This blog needs to be awesome this year. My grades need to be awesome. I'm gonna be an awesome friend. I'm gonna do awesome things. 2012 is gonna be an awesome year. You all are gonna keep me honest and remind me to be awesome, because you all are awesome. Got it? Awesome.

Shove it.

If you ask people who know me what my least favorite activity is, they are likely to say manually flushing toilets or wrestling panthers or something stupid like that, because those are the kind of people who "get" me. But in all seriousness it may very well be packing my suitcase. I hate packing on a level that few people, places, things, or ideas have ever reached. The process is exhausting for me. Gathering all my stuff, going through it all and picking out the stuff I don't need to take, shoving it all into my suitcase, realizing later I did need that thing I left behind, inevitably forgetting something really important; you know the drill. Logically I should love packing. I love going places, I love my stuff, and I love Tetris. Packing is like a combination of those three things. But I hate it.

Maybe if I packed to repetitive music...

I am now almost finished packing to go back to school. This is happening folks. It never is real to me until my bags are packed and my room barren. Now it is starting to sink in. I didn't expect to be this sad to go. I have had a LOT of good times with my family and friends here. It was confirmed to me today that I have the best friends in history (Benny and the Jets), and I've always known I have the best family in history. I'm gonna miss them something awful. I wish I could pack up my entire life and take it with me to Idaho, but I only have the one suitcase.

And sadly, it isn't Mary Poppins's suitcase.

That being said, I am also super excited to get out to school to see my other amazing and wonderful friends and family. I have been waiting for this moment for about 3 and a half months now. I can't wait for my road trip. School is going to be a blast, what with all the learning and bettering of myself through higher education. Oh, and the 80% of the time that I won't be doing that will be even better! Hahaha, I'm just kidding Mom and Dad (or am I?). Prepare blog. Prepare for the awesome times.

Oh, and the contest is still on. You can still like this blog on Facebook too. If you wanna. I won't force you.

Update!

As most of you already know, it is no longer Christmas. My blog layout is therefore inappropriate. Therefore I went through all the trouble of making a Facebook page for my blog (because I know you all want to have a place to rave and talk about all the awesome stuff that happens here) and made a few layout options for you to vote on. Just go to the correct album and vote for one of the three pictures I posted there and I will put it up here on my blog for you to admire whilst you read my fascinating insights on life and the world we live in. Good luck.

Petit Papa Noel

Joyeux Noel a tous mes amis qui peut lire le francais! J'ai finalement ecrit quelquechose uniquement pour vous! J'espere que c'est amusant.

Il y a quelques mois j'ai appris que je vais devenir oncle. Je suis tres heureux. J'ai prepare bien pour ce moment de ma vie. J'ai deja beaucoup de chansons Disney sur ma portable, et maintenant je peut les jouer dans ma voiture sans avoir l'air d'etre fou. Un petit confession, je n'ai pas trouver ces chansons pour le nouveau petit, mais pour moi. Je suis un grand enfant. Mais, c'est cool, parce que avec une niece ou un neveu, je peux acheter les jouets et les filmes enfantin, et etre immature et avoir une excuse pour le faire! J'ai hate pour l'enseigner (forcer) d'aimer Batman et tous les filmes que j'aimais en tant qu'enfant.

Mes amis, je vous aimes tres fort. Je ne peut pas exprimer comment vous me manquez. Les Antilles me manquent tellement, surtout pendant l'hiver. C'est trop froid! Je ne peut pas le supporter! Je vous souhaite tous les meilleurs benedictions pendant ce saison, et j'espere que vous sachez comment je vous aime. Je suis desolee que ce poste n'est pas plus long, mais je suis fatigue et demain est Noel. Feliz Navidad mes amis! Merry Christmas.

Slight Christmas

Today is December 23^rd. It’s weird to think that Christmas Eve is just one day away. Perhaps the thing that makes this even weirder this year is the absence of snow. When I was a kid I expected Christmases to have snow. I actually thought that it was part of the Christmas magic that it was always there. Listening to the song “White Christmas” just cemented in my brain that white was the way it had to be with the last line “And may all your Christmases be white.” With that line, in my small mind, Bing Crosby promised me that I was always going to have a white Christmas. Then one year Christmas came and there was no snow. I felt so ripped off. It didn’t feel like Christmas should. I mean, yeah it was still terribly, terribly cold, but with none of the powdery white stuff (snow, not cocaine. Let’s be mature here guys). Bing had lied to me. Now, irreversibly, all of my Christmases were not white. My life was a failure. I still had a fun enough time and it was still all in all quite Christmasy, but I felt cheated. Of course, that was not my last un-white Christmas. Serving my mission in the West Indies added a second tally to my wall of shame. To be fair though, it was a balmy 80 degrees on Christmas and I didn’t complain. This now will be my 3^rd Christmas without snow. Of course, there will be plenty of it waiting for me up in Idaho, I’m sure.

Christmas songs really had a big effect on me when I was a kid (If you couldn’t tell. It is all I have talked about this month). The “Christmas Song” (Chestnuts Roasting) was another one that really made me angry. Particularly the last part where it says “And so I’m offering this simple phrase, to kids from one to ninety-two, although it’s been said many times, many ways, merry Christmas to you.” The cause of my outrage was that I had a great-grandfather who was 97 when he passed away. Throughout my childhood I was forced to wonder what it was about the extremely elderly that made them not deserving of warm holiday wishes. I am older now and understand that when that song was written, they might as well have said “kids from one to a gazillion and two.” The idea of someone living that long was utterly ridiculous. But this is the 21^st century, people. We are consistently living past 92, and I think those lyrics could use an update.

Of course, with the war on Christmas blazing on, it’s amazing that anything gets accomplished. If you couldn’t tell, that was sarcasm. I think that the whole “War on Christmas” is a load of baloney. People keep freaking out about “Happy Holidays” as though it were code for “You know what? Screw Christmas!” There always have and always will be religious holidays around the solstice, and we need to be accepting of others beliefs. That is what Christmas is all about anyway. People are always complaining that Christmas is too commercial and that “we” are losing sight of the true meaning of the holiday. Who is we? Don’t drag me into this. Please. I know why I celebrate, and why I buy presents. I buy them to express my love to my family and friends, and I celebrate Christmas because of the life and love of Jesus Christ. How you celebrate Christmas is a personal thing. So instead of complaining to me about how commercial it is while standing in a line at the mall, maybe you should do some charity or something. And that’s all I have to say about that.

Merry Christmas dear readership. I love you all very much and wish you all of the happiness and blessings that you have wished for others this season. May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be… Nice?