Thursday, December 1, 2011

Day 1

There are many things that I love about Christmas. The lights, the love, the songs. But for every classy, nice thing about Christmas, there are hundreds of gaudy and tacky things. On the one hand, you have beautiful lights; on the other you have giant, inflatable, glowing snowmen and Santas. For every timeless and wonderful Christmas Carol, we have one of these:

Now I’m gonna start with a song that pretty much everybody universally hates. We all know that guy who is just too much. You first meet him and think he is a blast. He might be a bit crazy, but he’s fun! A party all the time. But soon, very soon, you grow weary of his constant boloney. This song is that guy.



Now, I’ll admit, just like most people, the first time I heard this song, I thought it was hilarious. I mean, at the time it was original and clever. The problem is, number one, that it has been played so far into the ground, it is in China. But so what? Lots of Christmas songs are overplayed. None are hated as much as this song. The second strike of this song is that it is supposed to be humorous. Things that are funny have a tendency to become less funny with time, and joke songs are then left to stand only on their musical merits. Very few make that cut. Strike three, and perhaps the most heinous of all, is that it is a country song. The twanginess of the singers voice is almost unbearable. It seems that he exaggerated it for this song, as if we didn’t understand it was a joke to begin with. All these things add up, and after the 5th time hearing it on the radio, almost everyone was ready to take their stereo behind the house and put it out of its misery. With a shotgun. It's what grandma would have wanted.

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